


It's Never Easy to Walk Away(Let Her Go)

by DScully2019



Series: It'll Be Okay (It's Gonna Hurt for a Bit of Time) [1]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Cheating, F/F, Heavy Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, No Avalance, Student Athlete Ava Sharpe, angst without comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 14:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16518038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DScully2019/pseuds/DScully2019
Summary: Ava Sharpe is starting her Junior Year of College and everything is perfect...or at least she thought it was.NO Avalance here...this is a prequel to the main story.  In case you were wondering who hurt Ava...you'll find that here.  *IF* you don't want to know...this isn't a necessary read for the main story.  It just throws some extra background knowledge around.





	It's Never Easy to Walk Away(Let Her Go)

**Author's Note:**

> Again...no Avalance here...just some Angst to answer the proverbial question of "Who hurt you?!"
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think! Kudos and comments are always welcome.

Sighing the tall blonde paused at the door of her shared apartment.  Amaya would be inside...maybe studying with Animal Planet on the television for background noise.  Glancing at her phone still clutched in her hand she debated what to do next. 

Leah <3  
  
**Today** 12:26 PM  
Please call me...  
**Today** 13:25 PM  
Ava, you really need to call me when you get out of class.  


Sliding the phone back into her pocket she grabbed her keys and unlocked the door and walked into the apartment and predictably Amaya was sitting on the couch several books open on the coffee table.  As the blonde walked into the Livingroom, she forced an easy smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes hoping her friend would be too distracted to notice.  “Hey Amaya.” 

Looking up from her work Amaya’s brow furrowed knowing something was off.  “Hey, Ava.”  Before she could say more a third voice piped up. 

“Oh hey, this is your roommate!”  A young man with seemingly perfect hair jumped up off the floor and extended his hand towards the woman that had just entered the apartment.  “Nate Heywood.” 

Ava took his hand, “Ava.”  As he nodded warmly, she looked to her roommate who was still giving her a knowing look.  “Nice to meet you, but I need to make a call.” 

“Of course.”  He smiled at Amaya.  “We’re going to order take out in a bit if you wanted something?” 

Ava shook her head not wanted to intrude on whatever was going on.  “I think I’m good, thanks.”  She then pushed on into the hall beyond the living space towards her room after kicking off her shoes and dropping her keys on the table next to the door. 

As soon as the door closed behind her Ava leaned on the door and tilted her head back as she tossed her book bag to the side.  As she moved to her bed, she heard her phone ping with a new message.  Her skin crawled a little out of fear of who it might be.  Pulling it from her pocket again She glanced at the unlock screen and saw Amaya’s name.  Quickly unlocking it she pulled up the message as she sat on the edge of her bed. 

Amaya  
  
**Today** 14:39 PM  
Ava, what's wrong?  
Nothing, yet. I don't think anyway.  


Before her friend could send another message, Ava pulled the other message open again and clicked on the phone icon to call her girlfriend.  Mentally she tried to prepare herself as the picture of her and the brunette smiling together popped onto the screen as the phone dialed and started to ring. 

It barely rang once before someone answered.  “Ava.”  The voice on the other end was unreadable and even in tone. 

As she leaned back onto the bed and stretched out Ava tried to keep the smile in her voice wondering what had her girlfriend so on edge.  “Hey Sweetheart, I just got home from class.  I got your messages, but just wanted to get home first.”  There was just silence on the other end of the line.  “Leah, are you okay?”  She let concern slide into her tone. 

“I didn’t mean to.  Ava, it just happened.”  Sitting up quickly she heard the tears in her girlfriends' voice. 

Feeling her chest tighten she swallowed the lump that had begun to form in her throat.  They had been dating since Ava’s Junior year of high school.   _4 years. Don’t get ahead of yourself...she could be talking about anything._   “What happened Leah?”  Her tone sounded harder in her own ears than she had intended it to be. 

“I went to a party with some friends.”  Her voice broke with sobs and Ava felt her heart start to pound in her chest. 

They had gone to different colleges after graduating high school, but had been able to easily maintain their relationship.  Meeting during breaks and weekends when they could manage it.  They also spoke or at least messaged each other daily.   “Babe, please...just tell me.”   

There was another moment of quiet before the familiar voice spoke up again.  “I got drunk...and I know that’s not an excuse.” 

Ava dropped her head between her knees trying to breathe deeply.  “I’m listening.”  Even though she could easily fill in the huge blank herself she knew she needed the other girl to say it. 

“I just missed you so much and he was really nice and comforting and before I knew what was happening we were...we had...and...”  Hearing enough of that Ava simply cleared her throat.  “I didn’t want to do this on the phone, but I know our schedules are really chaotic this year.” 

Sitting back up Ava pinched the bridge of her nose fighting back so many emotions.  “Okay.  So this... **thing**  it happened.  I’m going to come and see you this weekend.  We can work through this...talk it out.”  She looked up at the ceiling taking deep breaths. 

“Wait.”  The brunette took a deep breath...her voice seemed very small.  “There’s more.” 

“More?”  The blonde felt the tension gathering in her back. 

“Yes.”  Then there was another moment of quiet.  “I’m pregnant.” 

“Jesus, Leah.”  Ava jumped to her feet and started to pace. 

“I know...I know.  This is a lot for me too.”  The girls’ voice broke a little.  “Aaron and I decided we are going keep the baby.” 

It felt like there was ice in Ava’s veins as a timeline started to form in her mind.  Her pacing started to slow as she began to realize what was happening.  “How long?” 

“What?”  The woman’s voice seemed so distant. 

“How long?”  The blonde sat on her bed again and ran a hand absently through her hair as she repeated her question. 

“What do you mean?” 

Frustrated Ava growled into the phone, “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid.  How long have you been seeing him?  How long have you been lying to me?” 

She was greeted with silence again.  This time Ava just let it linger until the other woman found her voice.  “About 4 months.” 

“I was there last month...I was *with* you a month ago.”  She struggled to hide the anger and frustration in her tone. 

“yeah...”  The voice on the other end was barely a whisper. 

“Yeah?!  That’s all you have to say?”  Ava knew her voice was steadily raising as she continued to speak. 

“Aves, you’re really upset right now.  Maybe call me back later?” 

She fought the nervous chuckle that till managed to escape her mouth.  “Upset?  Seriously Leah, you’ve been cheating on me for MONTHS with some  **guy**  and... wait...Aaron?  Did you say Aaron?”  There was a small hum of acknowledgement.  Another realization came into her mind.  “You introduced us?!  While I was there last month...”  Ava felt sick to her stomach. 

“yeah...” 

“Fuck!  Damn it, Leah.  What the hell am I supposed to do with all of this information?!”  Ava barely resisted the urge to throw her phone.  “How do I even begin to unpack this?!” 

There was a sigh before the other woman spoke again, “I don’t know Ava, but I think time to process what I'm telling you would help.” 

“Time to process?  I took you both out to dinner.  You sat there and lied to my face.  You made me look like a fucking idiot.”  Standing up the tall blonde paced the room as her chest began to tighten all of her emotions crashing around her. 

There was a sigh on the other end of the phone, “Aves...” 

The tall blonde cut off her girlfriend.  “Nope, that name is for people I can trust.”  She knew her tone was harsh, but she didn’t care.  “You know what...I’m just done talking right now.”  With that she ended the call and finally succumb to the urge to throw the phone.  As it bounced off the carpeted floor and Ava dropped onto her bed again holding her head between her hands. 

After a few moments there was a light knock on her door, “Ava?”  Amaya’s voice was quiet, borderline soothing.  Rocking slightly the blonde didn’t respond.  “Are you okay?”  There was silence again.  ” Can I come in?” 

“Yeah.”  Ava sniffed loudly trying to regain her composure, fighting the tears that still managed to slip from her eyes. 

The door opened and Amaya peaked in.  “Hey, what’s going on?”  She noted the phone tossed aside on the floor and the tears that streaked Ava’s face. 

Ava half snorted, “Leah’s pregnant.” 

Amaya’s jaw dropped open, “Oh honey.” 

Behind the girl Nate’s voice spoke up.  “Oh man, do we need to go kick some guys ass for not stepping up to the plate?” 

Amaya shot a look over her shoulder.  “Nate, no.”  She tried to shush him as she moved towards her friend placing a comforting hand on her arm. 

He shrugged as he approached, “What?  I’m thinking some dude knocked up her friend and now we need to go defend her honor.”  He paused and looked at the girl sitting on the bed, “Right?”  He swallowed realizing he had definitely misread the room, but he was still unsure exactly how. 

Taking a deep breath Ava looked from Amaya then up to Nate.” That’s not really the problem.  The problem is that there’s absolutely no possible way that the baby is mine.” 

Nate’s brow furrowed for a moment, “Well of course not...wait.”  Ava could almost see his brain processing, “oh...OH!  I’m so sorry.”  He then half turned to Amaya.  “Should I call the Legends and cancel?” 

Ava spoke up before Amaya could say a word, “No.”  The Legends were a group of History Majors Amaya hung out with frequently.  Apparently, they took the name during a trivia night and it just stuck.  She stood up and moved to grab her ear buds and wiped her cheeks of the tears that had managed to escape..  “I’ll take off for a while.  You guys have the apartment.” 

Moving to her friend Amaya caught her wrist, “Ava, you shouldn’t be alone right now.” 

Ava glanced over her shoulder at her friend, “I’ll be fine.” 

Frowning disapprovingly Amaya released her friends’ wrist and crossed her arms over her chest, “Call Gary or Lily...go get something to eat...catch a movie.  Please, Ava.”  When the blonde shook her head again.  “Or I can reschedule this.  We can just hang out and talk this through.” 

Grabbing her bookbag, “I’ll run to the library.”  She quickly wiped a few tears that had continued to fall off of her cheeks. 

“Ava.”  Amaya cast a knowing look her direction. 

The blonde scooped up her phone and brushed past her friend, “Look, I’ll call Gary and have him meet me.  Okay?” 

Finally, relenting Amaya nodded.  “And they we’ll talk tonight, okay?” 

Sliding in her ear buds and queueing up a song on her phone Ava nodded and moved to the door.  Closing the door behind her she had no intention of calling anyone.  She glanced at her phone to see if it still even worked.  She frowned at the unlock screen.   _3 missed calls and 1 unread message from Leah._   Sighing she tucked the phone back into her pocket. 

~~~ 

Amaya  
  
**Yesterday** 23:58 PM  
Where are you?  
Ava, answer your phone.  
I just talked to Gary...you never called.  


Ava sighed and put the phone back into her pocket.  She knew she should at least text her friend back, but what would she even say.  She tucked her hands into the pockets of her hoodie as she walked campus.  After getting kicked out of the library she had shifted to a 24-hour diner and nursed a cup of coffee for as long as she thought she could before annoy her server. 

About an hour later her phone vibrated again as she exited the diner, as she was deciding where to go next.  Slipping the phone from her pocket she assumed it would be Amaya again or maybe Gary this time. 

Nora  
  
**Today** 12:49 AM  
In 2 minutes, your phone will ring.  
Fucking answer it Sharpe or I will kick your ass.  


She gritted her teeth knowing that answering the next call was not optional.  As soon as it rang and the dark-haired girls' image appeared on her screen Ava immediately clicked the green phone icon.  

Before the blonde could speak a frustrated voice spoke.  “Damn it Sharpe, where the fuck are you?” 

Pausing to look around for a moment she found herself in front of the Student Union building.  It was of course locked up about an hour ago, but she pulled her backpack off and dropped it next to a bench and say down. “Student Union.”  She almost didn’t recognize her own voice, it sounded so small in her own ears. 

The voice on the other end of the line was slightly less harsh in her ears when she spoke again.  “I’m coming to get you.  Amaya is worried, but she won’t tell us what’s going on.”  Unlike Amaya Nora had been in Ava’s life a lot longer.  They had gone to elementary school together and had remained friends ever since. 

“no.”  She dropped her head. “You shouldn’t come.  It’s late and I know you have to work in the morning.”  The tightness in her chest that had been fading started to take hold again. 

The fierceness re-entered the woman’s tone, “Shut it Ava.  I don’t know what’s going on, but I know it’s bad if you are acting like an asshole.”  She could hear her friend talking to someone else briefly, but couldn’t make out the muffled words.  “Ray is starting the car right now.  I’m 15 minutes from campus.  Stay put, do you understand?” 

She knew fighting against Nora was pointless.  “yes.”  She ended the call then rubbed her eyes feeling drained.  Clicking back to the messenger she pulled up her conversation with Amaya. 

Amaya  
  
**Today** 13:01 AM  
Nora's coming to get me.  
Thank God. Don't shut me out, this is a lot.  
I'm sorry about Nate...he wasn't thinking  
It's not a big deal.  
It is...Ava, it is.  
Yeah, maybe.  


Sighing the blonde set her phone down on the bench next to her and rubbed the palms of her hands across her face.  Tilting her head back she looked to the sky.   _4 years.  4 wasted years on her._   Taking a deep breath, she tried to clear her thoughts.  Ot seemed like hours had passed when she finally heard the car door then the rapidly approaching footsteps. 

Without saying a word her childhood friend sat on the bench next to her.  After a few minutes Ava continued to look up not willing to make eye contact with her friend.  “Hey Nor.” 

The dark-haired girl sighed and leaned back on the bench, but her eyes were on Ava.  “Use your words and keep talking, Sharpe.” 

“Ugh...”  She kept her eyes to the sky as she felt a hand rest on her arm.  “Leah called.”  There was the tightness squeezing her chest again.   _Fuck_ _,_ _this hurts_ _._  

Nora shifted slightly after the blonde didn’t say anything for a while. “Amaya did mention the call, but not the conversation.  She said it was your story to share.” 

Sitting up she looked forward trying to control her breathing.  “She’s uh...well.”  The blonde turned and looked at her friend tears collecting in her eyes, but didn’t fall yet.  “Pregnant.”  She spoke the word with finality. 

“Jesus, Ava.”  On reflex alone Nora wrapped an arm around her friend and pulled her in for a hug.  “I can’t believe she would put you through that.”  She paused just holding her friend for a minute.  “That bitch.” 

Ava chuckled at her friends’ protective actions.  “4 years, Nor.” 

Still holding onto her friend Nora sighed unsure what exactly to say that would be comforting.  “I know, Babe.”  She sighed, “So that’s it, right.  Clean break?” 

Ava shook her head, “I don’t know.  Not officially?”  The blonde furrowed her brow remembering that she had missed calls and messages from her maybe Ex.  “She sent me messages...I didn’t look.” 

Nora took a deep breath as she released her friend.  “Can I see?”  She tentatively held out her hand for Ava’s phone. 

Looking at her friend the blonde shook her head.  “No.  I’m not ready to know what excuses she’s trying to throw now.” 

Nodding the dark-haired girl understood where her friend was coming from.  “Ava, I can’t tell you what to do, but I think it’s over.  Regardless of what she has to say.” 

“yeah, maybe.  I can try to fix it though.”  She sighed and ran her hands through her hair.  She then looked up and saw Ray’s car idling in the distance.  “You guys should go home.” 

“Only if we’re either taking you to the apartment first OR you’re coming home with us.”  Ava knew from her friend's expression that this wasn’t optional.  “I’m not leaving you here alone.  AND from what Amaya says...you can’t be trusted to keep your word.” 

Groaning the blonde leaned back knowing she would have to face Amaya soon.  The tears that had been threatening to fall started to streak down her face.  “I’m not ready to go back there.” 

Nora nodded, “Okay.  Our place then.”  Her expression softened. “...Netflix and ice cream?” 

Shaking her head Ava clasped her hands in front of her and stared at the ground. “No.  Can I just crash on your couch?”  Her steel blue eyes met hazel. 

Her jaw set, but Nora nodded in agreement.  “Absolutely Ava, whatever you need.”  She stood up and grabbed the blonde’s bookbag.  When Ava finally stood up again Nora wrapped a protective arm around her friend and led her to the car.  They both sat in the back.  The blonde resting her head on Nora’s shoulder. 

Ray looked at the two women through the rearview mirror.  His kind eyes asking where he was supposed to take them.  “Home, baby?”  She nodded and he shifted the car into drive without saying another word knowing that something major was going on. 

~~~ 

Laying on her friends' couch Ava rolled onto her side a pulled her phone out again.  Finding the strength to finally click on Leah’s message. 

Leah <3  
  
**Yesterday** 15:32 PM  
Aves, I know you’re hurt. I’m hurting too. Please call me back...  
**Yesterday** 18:51 PM  
I know this is bad, but I really need to talk to you.  


As she swallowed roughly Ava debated replying to the message.  Sitting up on the couch she stretched her tense muscles knowing she wouldn’t be able to go to sleep.  She sat the phone down on the coffee table and stood up quickly folding the blanket and tossing it on the back of the couch.   _I can’t stay here._   Grabbing her book bag and hoodie she moved as quietly as possible so she wouldn’t wake her friends as she gathered her things. 

As she made sure the door was locked behind her Ava pulled her phone out and opened the Uber app to get a ride back to her apartment.   _At least Amaya should be in bed by now._   Sighing she waited for her driver sitting on the curb trying to sort out what exactly had happened in the last 12 hours. 

When the car arrived, she sat in the back seat and nodded to her driver confirming the drop off address.  As soon as the car started moving again, she opened the chat window again.  Taking a deep breath, she put her head on the cool glass of the car window. 

Leah <3  
  
**Today** 4:16 AM  
I'll call you later this morning. You're right, we do need to talk.  


Looking out the window again she closed her eyes and wondered where it had all gone wrong.  Shifting in her seat she studied her phone, not wanting to make eye contact with the driver.  Her eyes had started to hurt and her muscles ached from being tensed up all day. 

The ride was about half an hour and Ava slid out of the car and made her way to the apartment dragging her keys out of her pocket.  Praying Amaya was sound asleep Ava started to think that maybe she would be able to sleep a couple of hours.  Slipping inside she didn’t turn on any lights and made her way to her room.  As soon as the door closed, she dropped the book bag and tossed her hoodie on the floor not actually caring at the moment. 

Sitting on the edge of her bed she plugged in her phone and kicked her shoes off.  Laying on her bed she stared at the ceiling for a moment.  There was a soft knock on her door.   _Fuck._   “Yeah?” 

Amaya pushed the door open and poked her head in, “Hey, I’m glad you’re home.”  Ava felt the bed dip as Amaya sat next on the bed next to her. 

Sitting up Ava looking at her friend her eyes pleading, “I just want to sleep, please.” 

“Do you have class today?” 

Groaning into her pillow the blonde shook her head, “I’m not going to my morning class.  If I’m able to get some rest I’ll consider going to my afternoon class.”  She pulled the pillow over her head.  “I just need some time to get my head together.” 

Amaya nodded even though she knew her friend couldn’t see her.  “Alright.  Get some rest.  When you are ready to talk just remember you aren’t alone Ava.” 

~~~ 

Nora  
  
**Today** 9:36 AM  
I’m going to assume you are back at the apartment.  
That would be accurate.  
Did you sleep at all?  
Some.  
**Today** 9:42 AM  
I can’t help, but think she cheated on me with her supposed best friend.  
Robert?  No, I don’t think so.  Just those 2 times...at least that I know of.  
Wait...what?  
...she said she told you.  
...  
Ava, she said she talked to you about Devon and Emily.  
**Today** 9:48 AM  
She did tell you, didn't she?  
**Today** 9:52 AM  
Do NOT shut down on me. I didn't say anything because I thought you'd talk to me about it when you were ready to.  
She didn't.  
Fuck, Ava. I'm so sorry.  
It's over, isn't it.  
Not to make light of the situation, but unless you want to raise someone else’s child and constantly wonder who she’s with.  
**Today** 10:15 AM  
I know you love her, but it's over, Aves.  


~~~ 

Taking a deep breath Ava fought the butterflies that had gathered in her stomach.   _Get your shit together Sharpe_.  She quickly knocked on the dorm room door in front of her and took a step back waiting for it to swing open.  It felt like every muscle in her body was tensed up as she heard voices and someone shuffling around behind the door. 

The door opened and Ava was faced with the brunette that had been the object of her affection for the last 4 years.  “Ava.”  The shock on the other women's face was apparent.  “What are you doing here?” 

The blonde huffed slightly, “We need to talk and this is a phone conversation.”  She slid her hands into her pockets carefully watching the brunettes reaction to her words and presence.  Her hand brushed against the keys to the car she had rented to get here. 

Leah sighed and nodded resigning herself to the conversation that was overdue.  “I really wish you would have called so I knew you were coming.” 

Ava sighed and dropped her eyes to the floor, “Nora told me everything.”  She ran her tongue over her lips trying to soothe the dryness there.  “I was surprised to say the least.” 

Groaning the brunette stepped back into her dorm and gestured for the blonde to follow.  When she just shook her head, Leah nodded.  “Let me grab my jacket.” 

Nodding Ava turned away from the door refusing to follow her girlfriend into the room.  Pushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear she shuffled nervously trying to gather her thoughts while she waited. _This was a bad idea_. 

Once the brunette rejoined her, they walked out of the building in silence.  Sighing again Leah finally spoke up, “I made a dumb mistake.”  She paused then watched the blonde, “What did Nora tell you?” 

Staring forward as they walked Ava could feel the other women's eyes on her.  “She told me about Kevin and Emily.”  She paused and swallowed hoping the hurt she felt wouldn’t show in her tone.  “Funny thing...she was under the impression that I already  **knew**  about them.” 

Clearing the lump in her throat Leah took a deep breath, “Yeah, I told her I talked to you about all of this.”  She studied the blondes face trying to get a read from her expression. 

Exhaling slowly Ava attempted to dig her hands deeper into her pockets keys digging into her palm, “Who else?”  It was then that she looked at the brunette, wanting to gauge her reaction to the question. 

Leah's’ stride faltered slightly as she met the blondes fierce gaze.  There was so much hurt behind those beautiful blue eyes.  “What?” 

“Come on Leah, I’m not stupid...you got caught and confessed twice.  How many times did you get away with it?”  The blonde stopped walking and leaned on a nearby building fearing her girlfriend's response to her inquiry. 

“Ava...” Her tone was pleading. 

“Cut the shit and be honest with me.”  She pinched the bridge of her nose trying to fight the stress headache she knew was coming. 

Placing herself in front of the blonde Leah threw her arms in the air.  “Why?  What will this accomplish?”  The brunette grabbed either side of Ava’s face and forced her into making eye contact.  “It’ll only hurt you and all I want to do is move forward...with you.” 

“Fuck.”  The blonde pulled away, immediately breaking the eye contact.  “You can’t be serious.”  Moving away from the woman Ava shook her head.  “How the hell do you expect me to even begin to start unpacking all of this?” 

The brunette caught her arm.  “Hold on...I still love you.”  Ava pulled her arm away from the woman.  “Don’t just walk away from us.” 

Shaking her head Ava looked down the street, further into campus.  “I didn’t walk away from us.   **You**  did that.”  Glancing over her shoulder Ava knew she would never get all the answers she was looking for from the deceitful woman. 

“Come on, Aves.”  The brunette grabbed her hand.  “You didn’t drive all this way just to end it.  That could have been done with a phone call.” 

Pausing the blonde stood just staring forward, questioning why she had driven 3 hours one way for this conversation.  “I had to know.”  She took a deep breath as she turned to look at the brunette again.  “I needed to see your eyes when I asked about any others.”  Swallowing the lump in her throat again she continued.  “Apparently you are a great liar or I’m just too dumb to know any better.”  She slowly pulled her hand away, not breaking the eye contact she had established. 

Ava knew her words had an impact on the brunette, “Ava...I’m not sure what to say.”  Tears had begun to stream down her cheeks.  “I’m so sorry.  Tell me how I can fix this.”  She swiped at her cheeks, “I’ll do whatever it takes.” 

The blonde simply shook her head.  “No.  This is it.”  She felt a tightness in her chest as she continued.  “I’m done.  I need trust and there’s no way I can ever trust you again.”  The tightness increased to a point that she wondered how she was able to breathe.  “As much as I want to fight for us, I  **know**  I just don’t have it in me.”  She took a step away to create some distance between them.  “I can’t.” 

Leah matched her with step forward, “You can’t, but we can.” 

“No.”  Ava shook her head and fought back the tears that threatened to fall from her own eyes.  “Don’t call me.”  Leaving it at that she walked away. 


End file.
